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My Drug Addicted 21 Year Old Daughter Is Spiraling Out of Control

My 21 year old daughter has been shooting up painkillers and now is doing Meth. She has been having drug problems off an on since she was 14. She has a 3 year old son who we have custody of because of her and her boyfriend's drug addiction.

We recently told her that she needs to go to long term rehab or leave our house. She chose to leave our house and is now doing more drugs then ever.
She used to love taking care of her son, now she doesn't even want to see him.

We thought telling her to leave or go to rehab would have made her make the right choice, so far she has found people to stay with. How can we do an intervention for her to see that she needs to get help? Should we contact the police if she refuses to get help? Answer

You've effectively done an intervention of sorts by giving your daughter an ultimatum and forcing her to choose getting professional help, or leave the house. What else could you use as an effective 'bargaining chip' that will make her think again?

You did the right thing ... now it's a matter of giving it time and letting your daughter start to live with the realities of not having a fixed place to stay anymore, having to rely on others, and essentially make her own way.

Hopefully the consequences of that will start to wear her down and she'll realise how hard it is to actually fend for herself, which will make her rethink the lifestyle she's chosen for herself.

Things have to get hard and uncomfortable enough for her before she's likely going to be open to turning her life around and getting professional help, so you're going to have to follow through on your decision and be patient.

For now she's probably determined to prove you wrong and show you she can do things her way. But when friends suddenly start getting sick of having her around and she has no money for food or accommodation, she'll hopefully start waking up to the consequences that accompany the life she's chosen for herself, and be ready to make some changes.

So hang in there and pray your daughter reaches that point sooner rather than later. All the Best.

P.S. If you'd like some more detailed information around what you can do to help your daughter that gets to the cold, hard truth of the matter (that space constraints make impossible here), Help My Child Is An Addict is a book that can help you. Here's the Link that will tell you more ...

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by: Anonymous

My daughter went thru the same thing. She's 21 started on pain killers then meth. She's been on drugs off and on since she was 14. She has a 3 year old and 4 month old. The only way she went to rehab is when her kids were taking away from her. That is the only way she turned around. Hopefully she gets well and I get my daughter back.

We have alot in common
by: Anonymous

It sounds like we have similar stories to tell. My daughter is so corrupted right now. I just keep sending her messages of hope on her phone.

My daughter and her boyfriend signed over guardianship last year willingly. They admitted their problem and since my daughter was living at home she didn't think she was losing anything.

I would try to make an appointment with a lawyer, they usually don't charge the first time. See if he thinks their is a way to get custody of your grandchild. Your grandchild can be harmed by this situation.

She now is angry because she lost him, but she is a drug addict like her ex boyfriend and can't take care of him. What is so said the last few weeks is that she doesn't even want to see her son. She never was this bad before.
It is very hard to watch her go from a college student to a person that only cares about drugs.

I hope and pray your daughter wakes up and gets help.

by: Anonymous

I am sorry to hear about your daughter. I do agree with the response, you gave her a choice and she decided what wanted. I have a 21 year old and my grandson will be two soon. We let her come back home with us after going to rehab, she did alright for awhile, she was still lazy as heck but clean. I thought she would want to better her life, go to school, get a job.... Yeah right! The only reason she went to rehab was to basically get back in the house. They have to want to change, even though it breaks our heart and wish and pray they would. Well something happened at our home yeterday and I kicked her out. she is either selling or doing drugs again and I do not know how to get custody of my grandson. He did stay with me overnight but I am afraid of the other nights he will not be here! She uses him against me because she knows I will do anything for him. My husband said to ask her if she will go to rehab again but I have learned, they have to be the ones to want to get clean, not us. It's so hard, if you need to talk I am here, I can use a friend myself! My daughter is not even my daughter anymore, she is a mean, angry, lazy, mood changing human being now. Even though she just left yesterday the energy in my house is so much better. Can I ask, how did you get custody, I do not have the money to get an attorney. Do I make a police report??

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