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My Boyfriend is Addicted to Drugs - How Do I help Him?

How can I help him to leave drugs? He's taking drugs and has been smoking for a long time. I told him to quit and he said he would but as yet hasn't done so.

I even said him to go to rehab but he does not want to. He tried to quit but only managed for 6 days. I guess the reason may be because when he was small his family didn't give much attention and love - and the friends he made were doing all these things.

But now after we've been in a relationship, he's gotten all the love, attention and everything. Maybe there is even other reason why he started? He's now 21 years old ... so please help me out ... what should I do now?

All my friends and my family does not like him because he's taking drugs and doing all this. They all keep telling me he will die because he's taking drugs and that I leave him, but I love him and I don't want to leave him. I want to marry him ... so please tell me how can I help my boyfriend??

Answer

Your boyfriend has to want help - and he has to want to beat his drug addiction. And if he doesn't, there isn't much you can do for him - because overcoming an addiction requires work on a spiritual, emotional and behavioural level. And only he can do that work (with the help of professionals and others in recovery from drug addiction.)

So talk to your boyfriend and encourage him to get help and go to rehab. Does he want to waste his life and continue living the life of drug addiction? Or does he want make a success of his life and find real happiness? And tell him too that you don't want to be in a toxic relationship, where drugs stand in the way of the two of you finding real happiness together.

Hopefully if he sees how serious you are about him changing ... it will motivate him to get help. There are no guarantees, but you can try. If however in time things don't change and he continues a life of destruction, you may need to listen to your parents and consider leaving - because his addiction will not only destroy him but also your relationship.

All The Best.

Comments for My Boyfriend is Addicted to Drugs - How Do I help Him?

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Apr 25, 2012
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A
by: Anonymous

would say consult a rehab.. they they are the best person to help you and him.. they know the tricks to get addicts admitted.. on family consent

Apr 24, 2012
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My boyfriend smokes WHEED
by: Anonymous

My boyfriend started smoking pot ALOT after my abortion ( we are young and undecided) but after that we got into a lot of problems and fights, we use to live together... Well now we`re back together and we`re better of, only thing is,he is incapable of doing something without having to smoke wheed before anything we do ; sex, love, talk, laugh, eat... go out ( and he hardly goes out ).

He changed so much since he started smoking and i realise, he can`t quick!!! He will probably never quit, so i have two choices ; leave him and look for someone else. Or be with the man i LOVE and accept him the way he is even though i will watch how he degrades himself day after day!

and he is getting more than enough love from me, i DO EVERYTHING!!!

I think if someone IS STRONG ENOUGH and doesn`t WANT to take DRUGS HE WILL NOT DO IT !!!! YOu have to be strong enough to be able not to go through such things!

Jun 10, 2011
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So long...but need your help
by: Sad girl

My boyfriend of four years has always struggled with addiction to pills. It started out as something fun he would do to relax and have a good time on the weekends, and before you know it he was going taking them every day and soon enough went to the doctor for his “back problem.” Sure enough, they prescribed him perc 5′s, which then turned into 10′s, and then 15′s. He got 150 a month, and still needed more by the second or third week. This eventually caused him to lose his job, which he was making 75,000 per year. His house went into foreclosure and we now live at my parents. I am almost 10 years younger than him. I love him to death. We almost had a child together. I had to get an abortion due to medical problems. I don’t do drugs. So that had absolutely nothing to do with it. Just recently, he has started to hang out with people he used to refer to as “losers” and “lowlifes.” The same people he used to tell me smoke crack. I am very worried because when I kiss him I smell something like smoke, but he doesn’t smoke! I asked if he had smoked anything one night, and soon after he began smoking cigars. I cannot help but think he is hiding the smell of something else. I also have found tampered with lighters in his car. Broken straws. He has spent an ABSURD amount of money in the past couple months with NO explanation. He cannot sleep so he will go for walks or drives all night long. His nose is constantly stuffy, but blames it on allergies. He has no motivation to do anything with himself. Sometimes he will go two days without even showering. We don’t have sex as often. He blames most of this on depression. I have never suffered from depression or drug addiction, so I NEED HELP! What does this sound like to you?

Just yesterday I told him he had to leave until he was man enough to talk to me about what is really going on. He says he has a pill problem, but that is it. Is crack expensive? Like 800 dollars a day? I am so confused and lost. I love him to death, but I do not want this to be the rest of my life. How do you be there for him, but still look out for myself at the same time?

HELP!!!!!

Jun 09, 2011
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my boyfriend, my LOVE is an addict.
by: Anonymous

@GregA- Thankyou for your kind, wise words. My boyfriend has been an addict for years now, the damage is shocking! My life has been turned upside down and inside out, last night I realised that what I was doing to try and help, is the wrong way, I was only making matters worse. do I know what the right way is? No. But Iam determinded to search high and low for that right way. I love him too bits and will do whatever it takes for him to want to stop, to let him see and feel like the diamond he is.

Mar 24, 2011
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I am sure this will help you
by: Shilpa

I really appreciate your love and would say that this is the time when your spouse needs your help the most. According to my experiences with people, I have seen that drug addiction is a curable disease. There are people to help you. You just need to talk to them.

I would suggest you to consult a good rehabilitation center. I know few of them and have shared the links below. I trust Muskan Foundation. They provide escort facility also i.e. their small team of counselors would come at your place and convince the patient to get admitted and bring the patient with them to the organization. I have seen people getting cured there and I appreciate they way they take care of patients.

God Bless You

Muskan Foundation - http://www.jaagore.com/user/muskan-foundation

Navjyoti Delhi Police Foundation for Correction De-Addiction
http://www.karmayog.org/nonmumbaiprofiles/nonmumprodis.asp?r=149&nonnpoproid=1513&state=Delhi&city=Delhi

Nov 03, 2010
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my boyfriend addicted to drugs
by: Anonymous

but some say that going to NA meetings wont help that much as rehab will do..they say that it has affected the body and the treatment is best in rehab.. so now what? but m not sure he will get ready to go to rehab... i can convince him fully to leave it but what u think is best for him rehab or NA meetings? n his been takin drugs for really many years

Nov 02, 2010
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Where there's a will, there's a way out.
by: Greg A

Once addicted to a chemical--whether it be drugs, alcohol, marijuana or whatever--the vast majority of us lack the ability to control our use of the chemical we're addicted to. Our addictions are immune to reason--sort of like Republicans in the USA--and to kindness, love, punishment--even incarceration.

The craving to use these chemicals can be so strong we may sacrifice everything we have and everyone we care about just to maintain the high. Then when we begin to sober up the reality of our actions and the shame we feel overwhelms us and we use again to take away that pain. It's a vicious cycle.

The good news is that, as the old saying goes, "When there's a will, there's a way." I know one person, a truck driver who was addicted to meth, who had lost his wife and finally reached a turning point when his teenage daughters no longer wanted to have anything to do with him. He was able to stop using on his own and has never used meth again. But he's the exception, not the rule.

Your fiance might be able to quit on his own, but that is highly unlikely. But whether he goes it alone or gets the kind of help he needs, he's got to have a reason to quit and then make the decision to stop and then do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. As long as he keeps getting what he wants--your love AND the drug use--there's no compelling reason for him to stop, therefore he won't.

Think of his craving to get and maintain that high as being stronger than his desire for anything or anyone else in his life--including his self-preservation--and you'll begin to understand what you're dealing with. It's nothing personal. It's addiction.

Oct 29, 2010
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my boyfriend addicted to drugs
by: Anonymous

thank you... may God really bless you... and i hope he will be able to leave it...m planning to convince him to go to the NA meetings..

Oct 27, 2010
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NA
by: C-P

If Rehab is absolutely not possible, encourage him to go to NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings, find a sponsor and start to work the 12 steps. If he works the 12 steps, he'll be able to beat his drug addiction, without going to rehab. But he really needs to commit to working them if he's going to beat his addiction. Many people have overcome addiction simply by working the 12 steps properly, and without ever going to rehab. Rehab helps, but is not essential if he's prepared to work the steps.

Oct 27, 2010
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my boyfriend addicted to drugs
by: Anonymous

cant he leave on his own without going to rehab??

Oct 27, 2010
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my boyfriend addicted to drugs
by: Anonymous

how to convince him to go to rehab because before also i told him but he dint agree so how should i say it?? he had told me that he wants to leave it, he tried but could not do it..

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