My 23 Year Old Son is Destroying His Life with Drinking - 7 Years Now & Counting
My beautiful son
My 23 year old son started drinking from the age of 15.(so far as we know, could have been earlier)
My daughter (now 28, a college grad, wonderful productive girl!) and I are beside ourselves trying to deal with him and his destructive, some times dangerous behavior.
He has had 3 DUI's since the age of 16 and has gone through several 30 day treatment programs, counseling & AA meetings. Nothing has worked.
At one point he asked us to please get him help, he has been periodically suicidal. He was raised in a good home, his father and I were loving parents & he attended school in a very good public school system.
We had lots of problems with him beginning at the age of 15. Prior to that he was a straight A student, we had such high hopes for his future.
He is now spiralling out of control. I had to kick him out of the house last June because he was becoming increasingly belligerent & angry all the while drinking alone in the basement rec room, taking our cars in the middle of the night.
I lived in fear of what would happen next, hiding car keys, searching the house for hidden alcohol. His behavior became threatening after the last DUI which was March 2008.
While all of this was getting worse I learned his father (my husband of 28 years) had developed terminal cancer. This happened when my son was a senior in high school (fall of 2003)and the 3 year battle that followed for my husbands life did not help my sons problems.
I dealt with all of this the best way I possibly could. I
was forced to watch my husband deteriorate & then die in Aug. 2006. As a result of the medical bills and trying to support my family on my income alone I almost lost the house and was forced to file bankruptcy.
Currently there seems to be no hope in sight for my son. He cannot hold down a job, has dropped out of school multiple times. Any time there is the slightest problem (his hours were cut back to 6 hours a week the last job he had) he uses that as an excuse to hit the bottle.
Most often he drinks alone as he is often ashamed of what he is doing but does not seem to care what it is doing to his family. In fact he is usually angry when I finally get to talk to him.
He will soon loose his apartment as he cannot pay his bills and mostly I am afraid for his life at this point. I cannot have him out on the street but I have no idea how I can live with this again in my home.
He refuses to cooperate in any way, has overdrawn his checking account 12 times in the past 2 weeks purchasing alcohol. I called the bank asking them to please stop allowing the overdrafts & close his account (he uses his debit card).
I was told they will continue to pay the debits & charge the fees until 30-45 days have passed and then they will simply send it to collections. Is there any hope or anyway we can deal with this? He has no medical insurance.
Thanks for listening. Desperate & heart broken mom in Ohio.