Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Help Header

In Love with an Addict and Am Having a Hard Time Making a Healthy Decision for Myself ...

by Ivy
(United States)

My brother at the young age of 15 got addicted to heroin and other sorts of opiates and hallucinogens.


Two years later he got help and became clean, throughout his addiction my boyfriend was very supportive and loving, but my boyfriend had a problem of his own which I came to find on my own.

He is addicted to pain pills - any kinds he can get his hands on. I did not find this out until quite a bit later, I found out he was taking them at school, at home, and stealing from his parents prescription bottles.

I talked to him several times and for a while there he had me going thinking he had given it up. Sure, he isn't to the point where he will spend money on a pill but he recently had a surgery and I was shown a text message he sent to his best friend about how he was planning to stash away all his pain meds that were given to him for his surgery and take a bunch to get high.

I believe he is an addict, even though he isn't doing it everyday, he does it any time he can get his hands on it. And he sits there and lies through his teeth and makes so many excuses ...

He has a new obsession with shrooms, and while those may not seem as bad as pain pills, they are, they are just as destructive and dangerous. I have shared my thoughts and concerns and worries, and have had many crying conversations with him, but he always selectively forgets or disregards the biggest points I am trying to get across (and makes excuses) ... and will even go as far as saying I'm telling him he can't have fun because I don't like drugs.

Dealing with my brother as long as I did, I know how addicts think, I know all about the lies, excuses, and guilt trips. Unfortunately it is much harder when you are romantically involved with someone and that sort of connection gets in the way of me making a healthy decision for myself, because really all I want to do is help him, and I'm realizing I can't.

I need to start helping myself. I really want to stay with him but it is all becoming too much. I need some good hard advice and honesty about what to do in a situation like this ...

Comments for In Love with an Addict and Am Having a Hard Time Making a Healthy Decision for Myself ...

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Yup
by: Anonymous

I was with an alcoholic woman for a while and went on and off til' I decided although 75% of the time she was carting and loving the lies and shitty behaviour came out in the end. Even after 2 attempts at rehab and AA, a DUI and a bunch of othe unhealthy thing that just made her able to use the tools learned to manipulate me and others better and guilt me into saying I wasn't working my program (al-anon). Bottom line is if u choose to leave make sure you leave... No empty threats and if his addiction bothers you and he won't get help it is going to get worse and drag you down. I am a loving understanding fun person and I desirve someone who will treat me with the respect I desirve and you need that too

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Yup
by: Anonymous

I was with an alcoholic woman for a while and went on and off til' I decided although 75% of the time she was carting and loving the lies and shitty behaviour came out in the end. Even after 2 attempts at rehab and AA, a DUI and a bunch of othe unhealthy thing that just made her able to use the tools learned to manipulate me and others better and guilt me into saying I wasn't working my program (al-anon). Bottom line is if u choose to leave make sure you leave... No empty threats and if his addiction bothers you and he won't get help it is going to get worse and drag you down. I am a loving understanding fun person and I desirve someone who will treat me with the respect I desirve and you need that too

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
.
by: John G

loving an addict is hard! if i were in your position, i think i would tell your boyfriend, "you do what you want, but I'm getting help." you sound really torn up over this - there are plenty of support groups for people who have been hurt by addicts, like al-anon and nar-anon. maybe if he sees that the 12 steps can work for you, they can work for him too. best of luck, addiction is a sick disease and attacks not only those who have it but those around it.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Act despite your feelings
by: C-P

I know it makes things harder when you're romantically involved with someone, but you need to learn to act despite your feelings. You understand addiction and the destructive cycle it operates in - and that's why you also know that unless you make a healthy decision for yourself, things are just going to get progressively worse. Your boyfriend isn't going to change until he's ready to do it for himself - you know that. So in attempting to 'help' him, you just end up enabling him. So it's time to set clear boundaries with your boyfriend around what kind of behavior you deem acceptable ... and start making decision you know will be best for you in the long run. I know, it's not easy, but the longer you leave it, the harder it gets. Best of Luck

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Archive of Your Drug Addiction and Alcoholism Stories.





+1 Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com  

FREE E-Course

"10 Essential Steps to Ending a Life of Alcoholism or Drug Addiction ... Permanently!"

This Course is packed full of valuable information and advice for overcoming addiction that you're unlikely to find anywhere else.

And if you subscribe now - we'll throw in a Special eBook that will help immensely in your struggle against addiction.
E-mail
Name
Then

Don't worry - your e-mail
address is totally secure.
Your details will NEVER be sold and you will NOT be spammed.



XML RSS
What is this?
Add to My Yahoo!
My MSN RSS button
Add to Google


Copyright © 2013 - Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com - All Rights Reserved.