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Growing Up With an Alcoholic Mother: Never Ending Cycle of Pain

My single-parent mother has been an alcoholic for 20 years. She has been to rehab, hospital and A & E over 10 times within this period. Miraculously neither my brother or myself were ever taken out of her custody & to a large extent I wish we had been. I could write a very large tear – jerking novel with the amount of stories I have, but I’m sure everyone who visits this site could too.


We now have 2 younger siblings that live with our mother and it breaks our hearts. We intervene at least once a year to remove them from her care. Last year, I cared for them for over 6 months while she drank for 3 months solid day and night. I was sure this would work. She remained sober for 11 months – the longest she has ever done but now we’re back to square one, again.

The reality is that she may never stop drinking but I struggle to accept this. My head is so full from her emotional blackmail & years of psychological abuse that I can’t let go and I struggle to leave her. I still want to help her but I know – she has to help herself.

If I resign, accept this & leave her to it, I know that she will drink herself to death. Isn’t my problem? Try telling that to my head and my 2 young siblings!

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Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your comments. It's just heartbreaking, really heartbreaking. Her addiction councilor has called her "impenetrable" and at the moment we're veering towards taking the children full time. She's also on the max dosage if anti depressants, sleeping tablets and "antibooze" tablets (the latter when she's not drinking) After 20 years of abuse she still thinks she's not affecting us! It's amazing how distorted her mind is.
Thanks again.

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Me too
by: Anonymous

My mother was also an alcoholic for many years and it is one of the most painful things to have to go through. You know you can't help her if she doesn't want to be helped, but that doesn't necessarily always make it easier. Life can be a hard teacher sometimes, but I believe all our difficult experiences can shape us into becoming better, more loving and well-rounded human beings - if we learn an grow from them. So there isn't much I can say other than to keep hanging in there and applaud you for trying to help your siblings in the way you are. Take Care

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