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AA Isn't for Me ... Is That Okay?

by Angela
(UK)

Hi my name is Angela and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for nearly 2 years. I was in rehab 4 years ago where I was introduced to AA (which I have never felt comfortable in) . When I left the rehab I then went onto binge drinking attending the occasional meeting. Finally I did stop and got myself a sponsor, followed the steps and live this way with the help of my Higher Power.

I find meetings very depressing and also I do not like to talk in large groups. I got sober to get a life and feel I do not want to go back to AA on a regular basis. Is this dangerous, or should I go with my feelings? I feel great now getting fit again, walking my dogs. Simple things make me a happy now. AA meetings don't make me happy!

Answer

Hi Angela

Great to hear that you've come this far. AA isn't for everyone ... and there are a lot of people out there who achieve sobriety and happiness without the help of AA. So you need to do whatever works for you!

If you're managing to stay sober and feel great without AA ... then simply keep doing what works for you. No point in going to meetings if they make you feel miserable.

The secret to achieving lasting sobriety is about finding a recovery program that works for you. Now that could be via a formal program like AA - or simply your own 'program' that involves getting fit and healthy, nurturing your mind, and feeding your soul ... in whatever way works best for you.

I think AA is a great program and there's a reason it works for millions. But I haven't worked the steps or been to a meeting in years. I just felt I could progress better in my own way, and so I keep on track through regular meditation, trying to keep healthy, hiking in the mountains and reading good books, plus helping others where I can through this website.

So don't sweat it. As long as you're being honest and true to yourself, keep doing whatever works for you.

All the Best

Comments for AA Isn't for Me ... Is That Okay?

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Totally agree
by: Anonymous

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I think AA is probably good for some people, though I've found mostly for those that really do have nothing or anyone else. I have a large group of friends and loving family and apparently, a very high bottom. I also found the meetings depressing & pretty much the same over and over, and I do not have any desire for the religious aspect, but I like the reminder of why I'm no longer drinking and the possibility of relapse - how scary it could be. I have no desire to drink, I still hang out with my same friends, go to meetings that I choose and live my life, which I believe is the most important thing. Good luck and keep doing what you're doing!
DG

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Feeling Good
by: Angela

Just a wee note. Thanks for your replies. I have cut back on meetings. I just thought i might add the meetings do keep me grounded and help me stop focusing on my problems or rather put things into prospective, as like many addicts we can have much a do about nothing much. We need support online or in a meeting because I have ran away from life for so long, normal life is a big deal sometimes. Each day is a blessing being sober. I like being the person I was always men't to be. I let drink rob me of that for too long. God Bless

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Not all AA meetings are alike
by: Anonymous

Angela, I have been to hundreds of AA meetings and I'm now picky about the ones I go to. Some AA groups get far off the AA message and become very self-serving. I've even heard "old timers" say that the only new comers they're interested in helping are the younger women, a practice called "13th stepping" here in the states.

I've also seen "old timers" with good sounding stories steal money from other members using classic confidence scams involving fictitious investment schemes. Everyone knew about the con games but "the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking" tradition kept the group from giving them the boot.

So be careful about the meetings you attend. If you don't like the ones you're going to there may be better ones for you near by.

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Do What Works!
by: C-P

The end result ... your sobriety is the most important thing. So if you're doing something that works, then keep doing it. AA is a great program that helps millions, but there are loads of people who manage sobriety and happiness without it. As long as you're focusing on you and nurturing your body, mind, and spirit, then how you approach your recovery doesn't really matter if what you're doing works for you. Sounds like you're doing great. Keep at it!

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