What To Do About My Son's Ongoing Addiction? - I Can't Take Much More ...

by Carol
(Australia)

My son has been in rehab for a couple of years ... in and out ... never finishes it, never. I have tried everything - he's got severe depression and anxiety and panic attacks. I have even tried a retreat place in Queensland where he promised me he will finish the 28 days ...

Yeh right ... got to day 5 and says he's cured and heard it all before. I'm exhausted and don't know anymore. He's on his way back as we speak. I feel sickend to my stomach, I have 3 other kids and I can't even get myself to do things anymore.

Keep in mind too, tried all doctors so I know he's going to come back to the way he was. He was suicidal as well so that was my last solution. I need help.

Answer

Hi Carol

You need to realise that if you son doesn't want to be helped then there is nothing further you can do. You have tried everything so you need to let go and let your son's life unfold however it's meant to. As a mother that's of course not easy to do, but you're going to have to learn, otherwise you just destroy yourself.

You still have 3 other kids you're responsible for so you can't let your son's addiction affect you so severely. There are 3 principles in relation to someone else's addiction you need to remember: You didn't CAUSE their addiction, You can't CONTROL their addiction and you can't CURE their addiction. You have to make peace with those principles and learn to move on for the sake of your other children.

Also seek out others who can support you in what you're going through. Groups like Al Anon and Naranon are great for this - because they're for family members and loved one's of those suffering from alcoholism and drug addiction. The strength and support you'll get from people who know what you're going through can make this tough load a lot easier for you to bear. So don't feel you have to go through this alone.

You can get through this by realising you've done what you can for your son and then giving your other children the attention and love they also no doubt so badly need. Until your son is ready to change, unfortunately no one can make him.

All the Best