What Do I Do About my Boyfriend's Alcoholism?

by jenn
(manchester nh)

me and peaches

Hello my name is Jennifer. I am writing about my boyfriend peaches - he means the world to me and he has been an alcoholic for 12 yrs. He has been through a lot in life and I want and need to help him but don't know how. He is my one and only he - but keeps blaming me for his alcoholism and it hurts. He got arrested 4 days ago for his drinking. Please help.

Answer

Hi Jennifer

Being in a relationship with an alcoholic you need to understand the following principles: 1) You didn't cause your boyfriend's alcoholism. 2) You can't control his alcoholism. 3) You can't cure his alcoholism.

I know that must be frustrating for you because you want to help - but being with someone who suffers from an addiction means there isn't much you can really do. Your boyfriend needs to want to help himself - because he is the only one who can make sure he gets sober by getting the appropriate help etc.

So what can you can do is encourage him to get proper alcoholism addiction treatment and look into the various alcohol rehab options available. Because he needs to get professional help to overcome his addiction.

Then it's a matter of him finding an alcohol addiction recovery program that he's comfortable working at so he's able to maintain his sobriety. Many use 12 step programs like AA because they've helped millions of people around the world stay off alcohol - but they aren't necessarily for everyone, so it's about finding something he'd be committed to and keep working at.

But all of this depends on him making the effort and being prepared to accept he has a problem and needs to do something about it. He may listen to you, but he also may not - and that's why you need to remember the three points I mentioned to you initially. You could also look at attending something like Al Anon - which is for family and loved one's of alcoholics - because there you'll meet people who are going through exactly what you are, and their advice and support can help tremendously.

It's not an easy road you're on. I really hope everything works out for the best. But whatever happens, always remember it's his addiction - not yours - and he is the one responsible for overcoming it.

Good Luck and God Bless