What Can I Do With My 19 Year Old (Drug Using) Out of Control Son?

My son does nothing for his life.He just chills with friends, smoke weed, sleep all day and on top of that he insults me all the time and sometimes he is even violent. He also has stolen gold from me 2 times. I have to keep my bedroom's door locked all the time because otherwise he will still anything including money.

I love him with all my heart but I feel tied because I don't know what to do to help him. I have been told to kick him out of the house but I'm not sure if this will help him or destroy him more.

Answer

If your son isn't prepared to show you proper respect while living at home, then kick him out. You should feel your home is your sanctuary - and if your son abuses that by stealing and getting violent with you - then he shouldn't be allowed to live with you.

Nothing you do will 'destroy' your son more. He can only destroy himself by the choices he makes with his life. Because if you kick him out he can choose to learn from that and use the experience as motivation to make him a better person - or he can choose to use that as an excuse to keep him on the path of self-destruction.

Your son is no longer a child. He's old enough to take responsibility for the choices he makes in life - so you shouldn't feel the need to protect him anymore. The sooner he learns that 'bad choices' like being lazy, smoking weed all day and showing lack of respect have undesirable consequences (being kicked out of the house, no longer being able to depend on dad financially etc) - the sooner he's likely to learn the value of making 'good choices.'

But whatever your son decides - you have to make peace with the fact that he's got his own lessons to learn and destiny to fulfill. So if he wants to keep down the path he's on, there's nothing you can do, other than hope one day he 'wakes up' and decides to change for the better.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped - so helping him by kicking him out may be the best thing you can do for him right now, because that will mean he has to start learning about what it means to take care of himself.

Take Care and Good Luck