Sharing a Life With a Man Who Has a Heroin Addiction
When I first met Tony I thought he was attractive and responsible. He was employed as a manager at a fast food restaurant, and always had money. He willingly shared with me, and took me out. To me he was an improvement from the man I have dealt with in the past. He treated me good and after 6 months of knowing him, I allowed him to move in with me.
During the first six months life was good, because I overlooked the fact that he was unemployed and was fired from two to three jobs in six months. Nothing was stolen from my house; therefore I had no reason to think he was on drugs.
Eventually he started hanging around people who sold and did drugs in my apartment building. I explained to him how that made me feel, and he said he would stop.
Eventually he started hanging in their apartment, and threatening me when I would say something about it, or ask him to leave me alone and get out of my house. After he would leave to keep us from arguing, he would come back and apologize. He would say how much he loved me, and how he can't live without me.
I would accept his apology, and before the week would end, we would start arguing again. He stopped threatening me after I threatened to fight him.
I tried to convenience my family that he was a good person. My father said that he was a junkie and a sneaky liar, and he wanted me to leave him alone. I didn't believe him, because I could not see those things for myself. I was forced to leave my apartment because of all the involvement he had with the other drug addict in my building.
Once I moved into my new place, expensive items became missing. When I would ask him about it, he said that I probably misplaced it. He once tried to convenience me that the key broke inside of my car and he knew someone who could remove it for twenty dollars.
He even broke a key that was a look alike, to show me that he was telling the truth. When I walked to my car, I realized my car key was not broken. He often made up stories about my car needing work and needing to be fixed.
At the time I did not know he was lying, I just wanted my car to get fixed, because I needed it for work. Just think of all the money I threw away, and kept from me and my child. All along thinking that I was helping us by keeping the car fixed.
When he was locked up for 4 months for stealing from department stores, which he often did later in the relationship. His friend explained to me that he has a long prison record, never had a job that he has kept longer than four months and was addicted to drugs.
While trying to gather my thoughts, and swallow what has been said I managed to ask what drugs. His friend said he is on that shit, but I had no idea that shit was heroin. By this time we had spoke about marriage, but I am glad I never went through with it.
When he came home he said
that he was clean, apologized for everything, he had gained weight, and wanted us to start over. I missed him and was glad too. Once he moved back home, he started throwing up again, and things were soon missing.
I needed to start over. After all the lies and the good times in between, I started to think about my life and my child. The decisions I had to make and what I needed to do.
Once I had move out of my place after two years. I felt better about everything. He asked if he could come too, and said that he was going into rehab ... for the sixth time. He said that he wanted to be with his family and loved us.
I allowed him to come with us, and when he did he stole more items than I could replace. Now we are not together, but we are close. I just find it so hard to let him go. I know I am going to miss going out, and having fun.
I even said you can come by when you are not high. That worked out for all of three visits. After his habit has been exposed, he did it freely and lied about using any drugs during that day.
He would even take my car to pick up his supply. when I realized what he was doing, I stopped him from using my car. He would make up lies about someone owing him money, and how he had to catch them before they left.
He would sneak and take my car keys and get upset when I cursed at him for doing so. He would apologize. While sleeping off his high, he would ask me to lay next to him, so he could wrap his arms around me. I use to love this, until I realized he wanted me under him to keep from seeing him nod off.
After almost four years of being with someone, it is time to start over. He lied to me more times than I can count, and more than anyone I ever known. He stole money and items from me and probably everyone else he knows.
He will speak about rehab like it was a second nature. I even asked his mother about him, but all she did was lie for him. That was a life lesson that I am very grateful for, but refuse to relive.
I watched how his behavior and personality changed. How he would find every reason in the book to try to use my car, without wanting me to come with him. He even asked me for money to get a fix, to knock the edge off and keep him from feeling sick.
He told me had has stomach ulcers, which made him throw up. Years later I learned that he was throwing up from getting high or going through withdrawal. The one thing he cannot hide is the huge sweat beads that pours freely from his face after snorting.
I never understood it before, because he said he had high blood pressure. The boils he would get would cause him to spend days in the hospital. Yes I have learned a lot over the years. So if you are with someone with a heroin addiction ... get away as fast as you can.