Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Help Header

Our Son is Using and Selling Drugs: Want to Help But He Won't Talk to Us

by Jo
(Edmonton, Canada)

My son went to visit friends and never called or came home. We got in touch with him and he was so casual talking and asked us what was wrong. I told him his brothers were here to see him. He said oh well. We told him to come home. He didn't show up.

I got into his facebook page and this is where I learned that he has sold drugs and he is on "E". I have told him that we knew what he was doing and it is ok but let us try to help him. I said we don't hurt, we help. He just hung up on me. I have tried to get in touch with him to get him to talk to us and he won't talk. All we want to do is to help.

I don't want that knock on the door from the police. We have learned that the boys that he is hanging out with is gangster type. He is 18 and can be on his own but we are scared to death. Should we just leave him alone or keep trying to get him to talk to us. I think if we stop trying he will think we don't care and we do. How do I get him back?








Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer



Hi Jo

The sad reality is that if your son doesn't want to be helped, there is very little you can do. It doesn't mean you shouldn't try, but understand that until your son recognises and feels he has a drug problem, there isn't a lot anyone can say or do that will make much of a difference.

So if your son doesn't want to talk to you, don't take it personally. He is old enough now to make his own decisions, but will also have to be prepared to live with the consequences that come with them. That's why most people who use and abuse drugs only tend to quit and change their lives, once the consequences of their using catch up with them and make life difficult or unbearable.

That's why if a knock on the door ever came from the police because your son's drug use/dealing got him into trouble, it's important you don't intervene and try rescue him. Because the only way he'll ever learn is from his mistakes and understanding that with poor choices, come unpleasant consequences.

You did the right thing when trying to contact your son - not apportioning blame and making it clear you're there for him and want to help him. So keep on using that approach and hopefully with a bit of persistence he'll be prepared to listen.

But there is only so much you can do and if your son ultimately doesn't want to listen and take his drug use seriously, you'll have to learn how to let go and make peace with the fact that your son is responsible for the choices he makes and his destiny is in his hands.

Best of Luck

Comments for Our Son is Using and Selling Drugs: Want to Help But He Won't Talk to Us

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Join us for best assignment help in UK. Must visit. NEW
by: Assignment help online UK

HND Assignment help is the leading assignment help company offering high quality assignment help services in UK, US and Australia. Connect with us for assignment help services at hndassignmenthelp@gmail.com or login to http://www.hndassignmenthelp.co.uk

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Our Son is Using and Selling Drugs NEW
by: Anonymous

Well, you'll be able to say you used medication, however you definitely failed to SELL medication, that is a completely totally different and charged way more raspingly in CA. Anyone caught with an oz. or less of marijuana for private use can avoid jail time in CA. online assignment help uk .If you get caught with an equivalent quantity of marijuana, however it's supposed to sell; the charge may be a law-breaking offense and needs jail time!! "Felony possession of a drug with the intent to distribute" is going to be the suitable charge." So, you've got to quell this directly.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
drug using dealing daughter NEW
by: Anonymous

my 19 yr old daughter is dealing and using , she found her friend died of a heroin od and didn't even tell us . she is working three part time jobs and going to school ( or so she says )the other day she drove home high I found a 50 zanax pills in her room that night , did the same as all of the other parents on this page , I week later I find 10 bags of mushrooms 5 bags of molly , 2 bags of crack and a couple of bags of pot , this was after she drove her little brother to school , with even more drugs in her car , we took her car , pretty much stole it , we explained to her we will return her car after a 28 day program and a clean drug test. we kept all the drugs we found and explained to her if she reported us for stealing her car , ( 5 kids in our town died last week driving high ) we would give it all to the police . our sweet child has turned our world upside down , she doesn't feel that this is a problem she just trying to make extra money . my husband and I have spoke to rehabs , the police , family friends . I know what I did is wrong but at least I know she wont kill someone driving drunk or high , if anything it might slow her down alittle . I hear the same thing over and over she will get clean when shes ready, well there are 5 people living in my house and we all have to deal with her problem is it fair no but our hands are tied , my 11 yr old son is learning a hard life lesson about living with a drug deal addict . I could use any help advice etc , she is a sweet girl who am afraid will be the death of someone or her self,,,,help

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
drug using dealing daughter NEW
by: Anonymous

my 19 yr old daughter is dealing and using , she found her friend died of a heroin od and didn't even tell us . she is working three part time jobs and going to school ( or so she says )the other day she drove home high I found a 50 zanax pills in her room that night , did the same as all of the other parents on this page , I week later I find 10 bags of mushrooms 5 bags of molly , 2 bags of crack and a couple of bags of pot , this was after she drove her little brother to school , with even more drugs in her car , we took her car , pretty much stole it , we explained to her we will return her car after a 28 day program and a clean drug test. we kept all the drugs we found and explained to her if she reported us for stealing her car , ( 5 kids in our town died last week driving high ) we would give it all to the police . our sweet child has turned our world upside down , she doesn't feel that this is a problem she just trying to make extra money . my husband and I have spoke to rehabs , the police , family friends . I know what I did is wrong but at least I know she wont kill someone driving drunk or high , if anything it might slow her down alittle . I hear the same thing over and over she will get clean when shes ready, well there are 5 people living in my house and we all have to deal with her problem is it fair no but our hands are tied , my 11 yr old son is learning a hard life lesson about living with a drug deal addict . I could use any help advice etc , she is a sweet girl who am afraid will be the death of someone or her self,,,,help

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
drug using dealing daughter NEW
by: Anonymous

my 19 yr old daughter is dealing and using , she found her friend died of a heroin od and didn't even tell us . she is working three part time jobs and going to school ( or so she says )the other day she drove home high I found a 50 zanax pills in her room that night , did the same as all of the other parents on this page , I week later I find 10 bags of mushrooms 5 bags of molly , 2 bags of crack and a couple of bags of pot , this was after she drove her little brother to school , with even more drugs in her car , we took her car , pretty much stole it , we explained to her we will return her car after a 28 day program and a clean drug test. we kept all the drugs we found and explained to her if she reported us for stealing her car , ( 5 kids in our town died last week driving high ) we would give it all to the police . our sweet child has turned our world upside down , she doesn't feel that this is a problem she just trying to make extra money . my husband and I have spoke to rehabs , the police , family friends . I know what I did is wrong but at least I know she wont kill someone driving drunk or high , if anything it might slow her down alittle . I hear the same thing over and over she will get clean when shes ready, well there are 5 people living in my house and we all have to deal with her problem is it fair no but our hands are tied , my 11 yr old son is learning a hard life lesson about living with a drug deal addict . I could use any help advice etc , she is a sweet girl who am afraid will be the death of someone or her self,,,,help

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Lost Again NEW
by: Anonymous

Two years ago, our 23 year old son, became someone we didn't know. He came home, when we were at work, then he would travel the US, with 'friends'. When we did see him, he was rude and hateful. In 2011, he was arrested in another city, for selling drugs to undercover police office. My husband and I spent most of our saving $9,000.00 for his fine and his attorney, as he assured us that when he got out he would never do it again. He has been out of jail for 2-months, and back in action again. We seldom see him and his cellphone had 1,400 1-Minute calls, in less than 2 weeks. I want him out of the house, his dad wants him to stay. We don't know who the people are that he brings home, and I am concerned for our safety.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Help
by: Anonymous

I'm in the same situation as you. My sons behaviour changed over the summer and I chatted to him about a month ago as we've always had a close relationship and he admitted to doing weed and taking kat. I'm not sleeping, listening out for every sound and last night he had 2 'friends' stay over one of whom I'd not seen before and he went out 3 times between 3am and 7.30 ... for an 18 year old that doesn't do mornings I know its more sinister than he's letting on ...... what do I do?

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
my son
by: Anonymous

First and most, my heart goes out for you as I know exactley how you feel. My son is 18 and doing the same thing. I suspected that my son was taking drug and dealing because his attitude about life completely changed i.e he stoppped going to college and does not want to work. He is very rude towards me and his little brother. I hear people calling him all sorts of hours. During the night he goes out and comes back home in the early hours of the morning. Just the other day I went to his room and searched and found some weed hidden in his room. I was extermely angry with him and told him that he needs to find a place or I will call a police on him. I am so disappointed with my sons life choice..I thought I have raised him in a good way telling him the dangar of drugs and always encouraged him with his education. I am so devastated. Since then all I do is pray night and day.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
lost hope
by: Anonymous

My son is jujst turned 18 and has the same issues. I have heard people say that it is the parents fault when this happens; No one can understand unless they are unfortunate enough to have to deal with it. I will just continue to hope and to pray for all of the parent of these teens and the teens themselves. It is amazing how drugs can destroy families, relationships and lives. Good luck to all.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
My son takes drugs and sells them
by: Anonymous

I would love to get help but its very hard. I had a terrible breakdown in January and ended up in a mental hospital for 3 weeks.He takes drugs in the weekend and sells a fair bit. We have been to the police to see if they could help but nothing has been done. As he is making a fair bit of money and told us he want to buy a car worth $25,000 on a loan we know its drug money and we don't know what to do. He works in the business from monday to friday so I know what he earns and is still paying off money that he stole from us when he left home 18 months ago. He been back home for over a year, he is 19 years I worry so muchthat something terrible is going to happen to him. As he was such a great boy before he got involved in drugs and mixing with bad crowds.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Selling drugs
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to this family......My son went through something very similar last year and we didnt see him for weeks. Anyhow to cut a very long story short he is home now and he is doing everything we ask of him,keeping off the drugs, not bring all and sundry to our house and he is going to work Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. However we know he is selling drugs at the weekend, we just do not know what to do. We have suspected for some time and he has a hiding place for the money he makes and we have found it and keep a check on the levels and this weekend alone he has added another £250 onto his pile. I am so scared not only for him, but for my family and his younger sister. Could we be in danger! I know if we address it he will flip his lid and deny it and just say it is money he has saved up, but in a way I am loathed to say we have found the money because that is our only check on what he is doing......If anyone has any comments I would welcome them, I just dont know what to do???

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Drug Alcohol Help Parents Q&A.





+1 Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com  

FREE E-Course

"10 Essential Steps to Ending a Life of Alcoholism or Drug Addiction ... Permanently!"

This Course is packed full of valuable information and advice for overcoming addiction that you're unlikely to find anywhere else.

And if you subscribe now - we'll throw in a Special eBook that will help immensely in your struggle against addiction.
E-mail
Name
Then

Don't worry - your e-mail
address is totally secure.
Your details will NEVER be sold and you will NOT be spammed.



XML RSS
What is this?
Add to My Yahoo!
My MSN RSS button
Add to Google


Copyright © 2013 - Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com - All Rights Reserved.