Nicole's Alcohol Addiction: I Promised Myself I'd Never Be Like My Mother, Only To Realise ...

I grew up with an alcoholic mother and always felt that I was the grown up and not her. As a teen I was very rebellious - at thirteen I started smoking marijuana, at fourteen was coming home drunk, and at fifteen decided drinking wasn't for me but kept smoking marijuana until I had my children.

I then realized this habit wasn't socially or legally accepted so I gave up. I then started drinking. I thought I was fine and have always tried to be aware of my mother's alcohol addiction and told myself I would never be like her. I play with my children, I am very fit and active, I have a social life and I only drink on the weekends.

But as time went on I would not only have a glass or two on Saturday night, I would have a bottle or two Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. This bothered me for at least a year but I still tricked myself with 'oh I wait to the kids are in bed or I am still active.' But then I started not remembering arguments with my husband whilst drinking or would go out with friends and not remember how I got home - not cool at 37.

The final awakening was a big fight with hubby whilst he was driving home from a party. I hit him a few times, cut him with my ring, then jumped out of the car while it was moving. My mother all over again just as I remember.

So I went looking for the definition of an alcoholic - angry and trying to prove him wrong ... and that I was still in control, only to find your website. Well it finally sunk in. I am an alcoholic. It has been 4 weeks since then and I have not touched a drop of alcohol. Thank you.