My Son is Drinking and Doing Drugs. Should I Kick Him out of the House?

My son is 19 years old. He has depression and does not take his anti-depression medicine everyday. He wants to party and does not want to go into rehab.

I have 2 other children, 17 and 8. I feel my husband and I should ask him to quit or move out but my husband is not sure this is the right idea. My son has a part time job and has to pay his own car payment, insurance, and phone bill.

I love my son but I can no longer be constantly asking him where he is and what he is doing. He is lying anyway. What should I do?

Answer

It's difficult when dealing with children around that age, because excessive drinking and for some drug use, is part of a phase where regular substance abuse and no sense of responsibility is unfortunately far too common.

The question is, is it just part of a phase he'll outgrow - or will it become even worse and develop into a serious addiction? You can't know that so being rightly worried as a parent is totally natural.

So all you can do is try and teach your son about personal responsibility and making good choices, which if he doesn't do will bear consequences.

And since he's living in your house, you are fully entitled to put boundaries in place, and if those are crossed, then he'll have to bear the consequences, e.g. move out and find his own place.

So try and put reasonable and fair boundaries in place, and then make it clear to your son why you're doing that and what will happen if he breaks those.

That way hopefully he'll at least learn something and if you do still have to end up kicking him out, he'll begin to understand that poor choices lead to undesirable consequences.

Best of Luck

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