Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Help Header

My Partner's Sister Is an Alcoholic: How Do I Help Support Her Through This?

My partner's sister went through a separation in her marriage a couple of years ago. Prior to that, she never drank, even socially. Shortly after her separation, she began to drink and tried to hide it. She has lost her job and now her drinking is completely out of control.


Attempts to get her to go to rehab are met, pretty much with her ignoring the topic or getting off the phone. She has become so bad that she is non functioning. Her legs and body have atrophied, and it's to the point that she doesn't even have the strength to get around on her own or take a shower. She is literally drunk all day.

My partner is heart broken seeing the deterioration of her sister and feels as though she can somehow change this unfortunate circumstance. It's to the point now that she can't even feed herself and she calls my partner nearly everyday asking her to bring her food.

She will be losing her housing soon I imagine, as her unemployment ran out, and I can't imagine her moving in with my partner and her 13 year old son. I don't live with her currently.

In trying to be sensitive and understanding, I explain to her that there is nothing she can do to make her sister make different choices, after at least a year now of her sister getting progressively worse without doing anything differently.

This situation has caused an extreme strain on our relationship because my partner is always stressed about the situation and it's hard for me to not get frustrated that she doesn't give our own relationship any time or attention it needs.

My partner gets upset, in turn, with me, and says I'm not being supportive of her and the situation and that I don't understand. She's right ... I don't understand, but I feel the one thing I do understand is that she can't allow her sister's continued choices and subsequent consequences take over her life and ruin other good relationships in her life.

It's just hard to see my partner let her sisters life take over her life and now our relationship the way it has...I just don't know what to do anymore.

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer



Unfortunately you're in a no-win situation here. Your partner obviously feels the way she's going about things is the right way, and anything you say that opposes that simply upsets her.

Best thing you can do right now is probably back off and let your partner carrying on doing what she's doing, even though you are right that your partner can't change her sister and should force her to live with the consequences of her choices, because that's the most likely route that will lead to change.

Why don't you suggest going to Al-Anon meeting together? It's for family members and friends of alcoholics, and maybe your partner seeing how other families deal with alcoholic loved one's, will help her realise she's just enabling her sister right now, rather than helping her.

If her sister really is a danger to her own health, there may be a case to have her sectioned on the recommendation of a Doctor, but that really is only for extreme cases, however it could be something worth suggesting.

Maybe in time your partner will also reach the point whereby she realises her sister just doesn't want to change, and will stop putting all her energy into helping her, and start focusing on your relationship again. But it is difficult seeing someone we love destroy themselves so our natural inclination is to want to help, even if our 'helping' ends up doing more harm than good.

Hang in there and hopefully things start changing sooner rather than later.

Comments for My Partner's Sister Is an Alcoholic: How Do I Help Support Her Through This?

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
learn about debt negotiation
by: Anonymous

I have been researching it for a couple of hours and found your post to be very interesting. Cheers learn about debt negotiation

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Game Hack
by: Anonymous

monster legends dicas I would recommend my profile is important to me, I invite you to discuss this topic. clash of clans gemmes illimité android

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
youtube subscribers
by: thomasq

youtube subscribers Really impressed! Everything is very open and very clear clarification of issues. It contains truly facts. Your website is very valuable. Thanks for sharing  buy youtube views

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Game Hack
by: Anonymous

shadow fight 2 hack Gives you the best website address I know there alone you'll find how easy it is. clash of clans astuce

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Nice post
by: mark

Alcohol is not good for human health,it causes many diseases you should stop taking it.
Watford removals at cheap rate from stalbans-removals.com

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Enjoyable post
by: Anonymous

This is a great way to help others, I have visited this post and read the many informative knowledge from here. Finally, you have shared Helping Support Her Through This post.
http://customboxesco.com.au/

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Enjoyable post
by: Anonymous

You make an awesome post about your Partner's Sister. Your Post is really appreciable and I like to keep on visiting this site once again, I found it very interesting in further thanks for sharing the info. car bumper stickers online

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Learn Singing Music
by: Learn Singing Music

Forte schools offer a FREE trial lessons for classes and some offer Learn Piano, Guitar, Singing, Saxophone, Flute, Violin, Drums and More a Free Trial private lesson.Learn Singing Music


Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Womens Neoprene Peep Toe Sandal
by: Womens Neoprene Peep Toe Sandal

It Could Be FREE is one of the best online store in US to buy all products on wholesale and cheap prices Womens Neoprene Peep Toe Sandal - Born Free, Live Free, Buy Free etc

Rating
starstarstarstar
useful
by: James Rogla

After I read your entertaining post. I feel very happy. I bookmark your post on my browser and will come back to read more posts soon.
buy rubber flooring rolls for shops

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Brilliant Post
by: Anonymous

I just got to this amazing site not long ago. I was actually captured with the piece of resources you have got here. Big thumbs up for making such wonderful blog page. You did a great job and thanks for sharing this wonderful information.
www.gymflooringco.co.uk/gym-mats.html - gym matting company

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
nice
by: james

this is great stuff shared here , keep it up the good work and i am always visiting your site for more posting.. readmore

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
nice
by: Anonymous

The post is absolutely fantastic. Lots of great information and inspiration, both of which we all need. Also like to logo design admire the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information. You did a great job here and thanks for shearing such a blog.Translation Company in Qatar

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Amazing
by: Anonymous

Everything is very open with a very clear explanation of the issues. It was truly informative. Your site is useful. Many thanks for sharing!static cling

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
alcoholics
by: J. Owens

I know a doc who will make any alcoholic reduce it slowly even without the person's knowledge. You better surf in college paper writing service reviews and try to meet the doc during the weekends.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
quite eventful
by: Anonymous

Artemis Hospital, spread across 9 acres, is a 350 bed,state-of-the-art multi-speciality hospital located at Gurgaon, in the Capital Region, India. Artemis Hospital is the first JCI and NABH accredited hospital in Gurgaon.
Paediatric hospital in gurgaon
Best nephrology hospital in gurgaon
Radiology in gurgaon
Dermatologist in gurgaon

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
reply
by: Godson

You don’t wait for too much of time. There is no much time to lose. You have to take her to a de-addiction centre as soon as possible. Otherwise you cannot help her to rescue from that worst situation. beverly diamonds

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I know you're right...
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your response and words of advice. I guess i had a sense of the answer...and i hope it doesn't get to the point for me where i feel "enough is enough." If it does get to that point for me, before my partner decides to handle the situation differently and realize there are other wonderful things and people in her life that need nurturing, i guess then i have to make tough decisions.

Just like i know she can't let her sister's choices rule her life, i can't let my partner's choices completely rule my life, either, and lose myself because of the mess her sister created.

Thank you again for your input, i really appreciate it.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Drug and Alcohol Addiction Q & A Forum.





+1 Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com  

FREE E-Course

"10 Essential Steps to Ending a Life of Alcoholism or Drug Addiction ... Permanently!"

This Course is packed full of valuable information and advice for overcoming addiction that you're unlikely to find anywhere else.

And if you subscribe now - we'll throw in a Special eBook that will help immensely in your struggle against addiction.
E-mail
Name
Then

Don't worry - your e-mail
address is totally secure.
Your details will NEVER be sold and you will NOT be spammed.



XML RSS
What is this?
Add to My Yahoo!
My MSN RSS button
Add to Google


Copyright © 2013 - Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com - All Rights Reserved.