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My Life with an Alcoholic ......

by Denise
(Pa)

The pattern just keeps going on and on. I must be brave and try to harden my heart to survive. I have called the attorney for the 5th time, my appointment is for next week. I have to think of the kids and the harm it is doing to them, not to mention myself.

I hate him and at the same time I know that here is a loving man inside of him. It is killing me - my heart is already breaking. God give me the courage to carry this out. I pray for guidance and wisdom to do what is right.

I feel that in the past eleven years he has been through three rehabs (inpatient) but still it is of no consequence, which leads me to believe I am what keeps him from recovery or at least enables him. I love him enough to leave him and give him a chance at recovery.

But will my heart ever stopping hurting? Will I be able to stop crying?

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Oct 14, 2011
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Leeting go
by: Anonymous

I also find it very difficult to let go. IN the end he left becuase he says he hates being reminded of the past, which I suppose I represent. it is so diffcult letting go. I also feel bitter that he leaves after I have withstood so much from him for 23 years

Dec 01, 2009
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emotionally drained
by: Anonymous

we have only been married 2 years,I can honestly say it has been the worst 2 years of my life,I am emotionally drained and have gotten accustomed to verbal abuse that i shouldnt even be comfortble with. It is draining we are an interracial couple and sometimes she will horrible dergative word towards me, thnkafully we do not have any children yet, but this will be the death of me,
I loathe coming home just at the though of him being there he is not ready to change, and I have made up mind to leave.....

Oct 21, 2009
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living with a alcholic
by: julie

IVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 13 YRS NOW MY HUSBAND AS ALWAYS DRANK BUT NOT BEEN VIOLENT TO ME OR MY KIDS GETS VERBAL AT TIMES IN DRINK GETS VERY DRAINING FOR ME HE WAS RUSHED INTO HOSPITAL LAST YEAR WITH CHRONIC PANCREATAS HE WENT TO 7 STONE DRAMATICALY I THOUGHT HE WAS DYING IT MADE ME ILL WITH THE STRESS N WORRY HES BEEN PRESCRIBED MEDICATION BUT STILL AS THE ODD SLIP UP BUT WHEN I CONFRONT HIM HE LIES AND ITS THE LYING THAT GETS ME IT MAKES ME FEEL THAT IM PARANOID IVE FOUND DRINK BOTTLES HIDDEN IN THE HOUSE IVE TOTALY HAD ENOUGH HES A GREAT GUY BUT LETS HIS SELF DOWN BIG TIME IVE ASKED HIM TO LEAVE FOR MY OWN HEALTH AND SANITY BUT HE SAYS HES NOT GOING ANY WHERE I JUST DONT NO WHAT TO DO ANY MORE ITS A HARD BATTLE TO FIGHT FOR HIM AND ALL HIS FAMILY WHY DO LOVED ONES DO THIS TO THERE LOVED ONES I DONT GET IT AND NEVER WILL

Jul 29, 2009
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You can get through this.
by: C-P

You heart will eventually stop hurting and you will be able to stop crying in time. Time has the most amazing capacity to heal the worst wounds. Taking the action you are now might help your husband wake up to what he's losing and result in him changing for the better. Of course it may also not - but it may mean you are ultimately led to a more fulfilling and happy life. Eventually there is no option but to let go - and hope that the person you love finds their way. You can't do it for them - they have to do it for themselves.

Good Luck!

Jul 25, 2009
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I feel your Pain!
by: Anonymous

I share your pain!! I am going on 23 years of hoping my husband will change. I do believe in miracles....I go to allanon to try and heal myself and it has helped tremendously. His father was an alchohlic and found sobriety. I dont know if mentally and financially I can continue. My children feel sorry for him. It is a very destructive disease. I do think about divorce alot. It is hard to let go!!Good luck and God bless you!

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