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My Husband's Alcoholism: He Has Promised to Change for 30 Years Making My Life a Misery

by Debbie
(Liverpool)

My husband has made my life a misery for 30 years. He has promised me over and over again, literally thousands of times that he will stop drinking because he says he loves me more than alcohol but never stops for more than a few months.

For the first four years he was physically and mentally abusive but stopped hitting me when we got married. I thought this meant he was a better person but he has stressed me out with his behaviour, he can be so nasty and he says awful things and looks like a stranger when he has been drinking. Although we have 3 children he has never been interested in the physical side of our marriage preferring to sit on his own drinking till very late.

I recognise all the signs even though he swears he hasn't been drinking. His eyes go weird and he's twitchy and loud, he keeps rubbing his face, my children and I know all the signs. He would swear on my childrens lives that he hasn't been drinking, he is a selfish lying moron and I hate him.

We are in debt up to our eyes, I have only ever had part time jobs since we have had the children because he would only have more money to drink if I worked full time. I have never had my child benefit as he 'needed' it to pay the bills. He has a good job and we need his money to pay the mortgage and bills and he holds this over me saying he pays all the bills but its my little part time job that pays for extras.

This man has ruined my life and my love for him by being so selfish, we have had separate rooms for years and I have to pretend to other people that everything is fine. He refuses to go to the doctor or AA and says he can stop drinking on his own but if he really meant to stop he would need their help so he can't really want to stop can he?

Why don't I leave him? Because I have worked hard on our home and have no intention of losing it. I'm too old now to start again and would lose everything if I left him so I will just have to hope that maybe his body will let him down and make him stop drinking - or it will kill him, either one is fine by me.

If your story is like Debbie's and you want to prevent your life from being a misery, get yourself Help Me! I'm Love With An Addict: How To Survive A Relationship With An Alcoholic or Drug Addict. It doesn't have to be this way for you. You can change things. It's a question of knowing how. And 'Help Me! I'm In Love With An Addict' is a book that can show you.

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Never too late to start over!
by: Anonymous

My parents work at a storage facility in Ruskin, FL, and most of their tenants are over the age of 55 and retired. Let me just tell you about these people. They are aging and loving it. There's a place called Sun City Center in Ruskin, FL. It is a retirement communtity 8 minutes from Apollo Beach. (30 minutes from St. Petersburg) This community is a neighborhood full of fully furnished rentals for 600-800 a month. Most anyone could afford that on social security, especially with a part-time job. Your part time job could be "your" spending money. The people in this community are getting married well into their 70's and 80's. You would instantly have an entire community of friends and support. The community has pools I think a hot tub, a fitness facility, a clubhouse, and tons of group activities like water aerobics, bingo, game night, all kinds of stuff. They plan group excursions to the beach, Busch Gardens, Disney World, everywhere, and as a Florida resident you would get discounts to all the parks. There are no children allowed to live in the community. It is 55 and up only. It's pretty cool. The shopping and restaraunts are close by, and a lot of the reidents just ride around on golf carts. Walmart parking in Ruskin is primarily golf carts. He He! I am 30 years old, and in the process of filing from a divorce from an alcoholic! My children are 5 and 12 and we can't wait to start our new lives! There's life out there, but it is not with an alcoholic. Don't feel guilty about leaving him. He has made the decision to rot and he wants to take you down with him! Let him rot not yourself! I bet if you called Sun City Center and told them about your situation, they would be very supportive in helping you to make your move! You would probably have friends before you even got there. There are a ton of communities like this in Florida. I wish you the best! Godbless you! Be brave and you will have everything you ever hoped for!

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Do what you have to
by: Anonymous

Do what you have to to find your own peace and happiness. Don't let your husband take away your self respect and dignity. He may be okay with destroying himself, but that doesn't mean he has to take you down with him. Live your own life, have your own pleasures and hobbies and make sure that you can somehow put your needs as priority.

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