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My Ex Is An Alcoholic: Don't Get Sucked In Like I Did. Be Happy and Healthy.

by Happy now

I started dating a beautiful, smart, well spoken woman a little over a year ago. Some red flags started to show .... odd behaviour on the phone, a few dates of not picking up her phone but I put it aside thinking the relationship was new.


I then noticed a few nights every two weeks or so she would drink herself stupid. She then wanted me to move in with her to save money, I put in a letter to my apt manager and moved my stuff to her house .... two days in a row less than a week into living there I came home from a 10 hour work day to find her passed out in the middle of the floor and with two days left on my lease I moved out.

A week passed and she said she is going to AA and wants me back. I get back with her and to make a long story short we went back and forth 6 times each time I believe her story of recovery and she even went to rehab for 30 days. She would talk to random people outside her house drunk and would hide phone numbers she would get.

I believe she cheated while drunk and even told me she almost gave head to someone for cash but backed out and he hit her. I rushed over to find her drunk with a bump on her head. All I have to say is if you can get out .... get out!!!!!!

One day they will be all for recovery and the next day will be the same fucked up story it was before - only now they know all the terms and rederick to hide it better and to blame you for being sicker then they are.

I'm sick because I stayed so long. I don't treat people like that and I refuse to get treated like that ... run if you can. Feelings heal, so stop thinking "what if this time they actually want to get better" - just go and be healthy, nobody can be healthy in something like that.

Comments for My Ex Is An Alcoholic: Don't Get Sucked In Like I Did. Be Happy and Healthy.

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learning the hard way
by: Kim


I found a woman's group to go the another night and it was great! One of the girls that was there I met from another meeting. We had the same problem except she quit her job and I didn't. I did take all the cards and pictures and put them in a box, was not ready to burn them and probably won't be for awhile or at all. It's funny after you get out of a relationship like this to see how your moods coinsided with theirs. I was thinking back of how my moods did change with his. When he was up and happy so was I and when he was depressed so was I but tried not to be. I would go out with a guy friend of mine and just cringe but he wasn't there but in my head he was. I'm going to a wedding on Saturday, working tomorrow night plus my roommate and I are moving into another place. My heart and my head still hurt but not like last week. It's nice to laugh and joke again but not with the alcholic in my head. I know there is somebody out there for me who will treat me the was I should be treated but right now I'm going to meetings and learning to love myself again. thank you everbody for your comments.

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Kim
by: Anonymous

You should cry it's healthy but being done was prob the best thing. Try not to romanticize the relationship down the road...I know I did and I ended up dragging it out farther than it needed but make sure when u say your done that your done....good luck Kim

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Done!
by: Kim


Well, i just found out the guy that i was seeing has been sleeping with a married woman and has yet to tell me. A friend of ours called and had met the lady. He asked my ex when he was going to tell me and he said in a couple of weeks or so. Right now their relationship is secret because her husband is still in town then when he does leave she will ask for a divorce. I have cried for for 4 days and that stopped today. She has a lot of money and that is why he is with her plus she said she has not had sex in 11 years. She is 63 and her husband is 75. She can have the problem I'm done!!!!!!!!! Broken promises and being told that I'm worth waiting for and he loved me. All Lies. He has been seeing her for 2 months and when I was down for Labor day weekend he didn't say a thing. Its over. No more crying, no more hurting.

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Leaving was great
by: Anonymous

Leaving was the best thing I ever did. Somedays I missed her but over all I'm so happy and the more space I put between it the better I felt. I just said sober or not "not was the case" I'm leaving. Stopped thinking what if she got better and went what am I gonna be like if she didn't. I can't tell you to leave but it was the best decision I ever made. Took 4 months for it to sink in it was the right choice and just told myself I'm nice handsome and I'll find someone who enjoys those qualities without putting me through the ringer.....hope is good but in a situation like this it will kill your insides......I can't believe how I neglected friends and family and myself over this persons fucked up problem and actions. Good luck

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Still in the situation
by: Kim

Sometinmes I just don't have a clue as what to do. Yes, I love this person but it is like this roller coaster ride that never ends. he had finally grabbed a year then his son calls and pretends to shoot himself but he forgot to end the call so his Dad heard him laughing to his buddy. He heard him say " Now maybe that M.F. will get his head out of his Ass! He threw up his hands and said those magic words Screw it!!! I have cried myself to sleep, at work and I can't seem to stop.

I know what I must do but it is hard since we have been together for 5 years. He hasn't called for a week, probably doing the binge drinking plus he has medication to take so he is chasing it down with beer. I do go to Al-Alon just not enough. I need to break this cycle but like I said before it is hard.

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Did the right thing
by: Anonymous

Alcoholics are highly manipulative and know how to say all the right things so we'll keep believing their empty promises about changing etc. So the fact that you had the courage to remove yourself of such a destructive relationship is fantastic. As you say - be happy and healthy! Neither of which you can unfortunately be when in a relationship with an alcoholic/addict.

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