My Daughter is an Alcoholic. She Has Been Through Rehab But is Drinking Again.

My daughter went through a divorce 2 years ago. She is 39 years old and has a 10 year old son. I let her move in with me. She was already drinking but it slowly got worse. She was hospitalized 2 times for alcohol poisining.

She tried to stop on her own and had a siezure. She entered a drug rehab program and on the third day she had another siezure and hallucinations. She was put in the hospital for 4 days. She was found to have an enlarged heart. She spent 30 days in rehab.

I bought her a mobile home because she wanted be on her own. Then she started drinking more heavily. She cannot hold a job and i am trying to pay some of her bills that her child support does not cover. She calls me all hours day and night when she is drinking.

She lives 2 blocks from me so I end up looking after her son. I am 66 years old and do not want to raise another child. what can i do?

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Answer

You have to stop enabling your daughter and providing her with all that support. Because by her not having to fully experience the consequences of her drinking and alcoholism - there is no real motivation for her to want to quit drinking.

But if suddenly her money supply and place to live is put at risk - she will quickly understand what the consequences of her continued drinking are. Your daughter has to learn to take responsibility for the choices she makes - but right now you're taking on all that responsibility for her. So how is she going to learn?

There is no guarantee anything you do however will work - because ultimately your daughter has to want to change and turn her life around if she's ever going to achieve lasting sobriety. But by forcing her to take responsibility for the destructive choices she's making - hopefully it will help her reach her 'bottom' sooner and get her to the point where she's had enough of what she's doing to herself.

Then of course you should also make it clear to her what would happen to her son if you weren't around to look after him and Social Services got wind of things - because she's clearly in no fit state to be a proper mother. So you need to set some very firm and clear boundaries with her - 'sort your life out' or the support you've been giving her ends.

She's been to Rehab so knows what to do. So now it's a matter of applying everything she was taught in rehab to start turning her life around. Her son needs his mother to be available and there for him and it's time she started realising it and the consequences if she doesn't.

Best of Luck