I am a Weekend Binger of Drugs - How do I Stop?
I first used heroin when I was 18, and I have used different drugs off and on ever since. My main drug is alcohol.
I have a boyfriend and he comes over once a week, and we start drinking, and we will egg each other on. He will say can we phone, for just a little one, and I will say and you will boot it, shoot it and you will do it.
We order cocaine and heroin for a chaser all to be injected. The binge will last over 2 days and will cost around 100 dollars or more. This has happened every week for the last 2 years. My money has flown out the window, I lay in bed sleeping 16 hrs at a time after, and feeling very guilty, it takes me 3 days to get over it.
I would like to stop since I am 57 and he is 44 and my soul comes alive after a week, and I spoil that good feeling I have about myself by engaging in the cycle that has become routine.
If you're serious about wanting to stop using, the first thing you need to do is make the DECISION that that is what you're going to do.
Because if you don't firmly make the decision to stop using drugs for good, you always leave a back door open for yourself to one day change your mind.
Then you need to find some solid reasons as to why you're determined to stop using. Things that will motivate you to keep going and not pick up when the urge to phone your drug dealer is overwhelming. Because if you're not sufficiently motivated and determined to make it happen, you're 'dead in the water.'
In your case then, if your problem is merely one of regular substance abuse, you can try simply stopping by yourself and see how that goes for you. If you manage to come clean that way, maybe you do have nothing more than a substance abuse problem.
My feeling however is that your habit stems deeper than just plain substance abuse, and that it seems like you have addictive tendencies, even if you're only binging on weekends. Take this drug addiction test
and this test for alcoholism
because you may be surprised at the results.
So if these tests show what I think they will, and you find you can't just walk away from your drinking and using habits despite knowing the damage they're causing you, you need to consider getting professional help.
I would suggest contacting an Addictions Counselor in your area and have them help you decide on what course of action is best. 12 step programs like AA and NA are also a great place to go to meet people exactly in your position, and where you'll discover what you need to do to successfully quit drinking and using drugs for good.
Ultimately the only way to overcome addiction is I believe through adopting a holistic approach that helps you heal and change on the spiritual, mental and emotional levels. The 12 steps can do that for you, or if you know of other spiritual programs that you have an affinity with, they can too.
I think you should also examine your relationship with your boyfriend in terms of his influence and how it seems to always end up in you using drugs when you're with him. I'm not saying he's to blame or responsible, but some relationships are healthier for us than others, and if you hope to stop using successfully, how are you going to manage if he still binges regularly?
The other obvious contributing factor is alcohol. I'm glad you recognise the role alcohol plays in leading to you ending up also doing cocaine and heroin. If you are inclined towards addiction, there is no way you are going to be able to stop taking drugs successfully, while still drinking alcohol. As you said yourself, alcohol is also a drug to you, so abstinence is going to be the only way for you.
I've given you a lot of information to digest. Don't let this overwhelm you. Just take it one step at a time. And the main thing is, don't be scared or ashamed to get help or go to an AA/NA meeting.
God Bless and I'm sure everything will work out for the best.
P.S. If you're interested in more detailed and specific strategies for quitting drugs and alcohol, check out Addiction Uncovered
. There's lots of info there that may help.