How Do I Help My Alcoholic Mother - Who is 72 Years Old?

by Terri
(US)

I am a recovering alcoholic and have been sober for 17 years. Last year at Thanksgiving my Mother admitted she was an alcoholic and is not in any type of recovery and I want to tell her that she needs help but I am scared to tell her.

I am in AA and today 8/17/2010 I went to my first al-non meeting and let everything out about my Mother's drinking, she does not know I went to an alanon meeting, today she thinks I went to an AA meeting, PLEASE HELP ME I AM REALLY SCARED FOR HER. She is 72 years old.

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Answer

Hi Terri

You keep going to Al Anon when you can and learn from what others in your position have done.

But you know as a recovering alcoholic, your Mom has to want to change and do something about her alcoholism. If she doesn't, no one can really help her.

Why are you scared to tell her she needs help? You've been there and understand what it takes - so just be honest with her and talk from experience. And tell her you'll be there for her and support her in any way you can through her recovery.

But you can't tip toe around the subject. Just be honest and say what you need to say. Being afraid to talk to your Mom doesn't help her at all. It may not be easy, but know that you're doing it with her best interests at heart. And since you can also talk from experience about what it takes to turn your life around, hopefully it will inspire your mother to do the same.

Good Luck, you can do it.