How Do I Convince My Husband That Drinking and Driving With Kids Is Not Okay ?
(Goshen , IN, USA)
This is a habit his whole family (5 brothers total ) do on a regular basis. They think nothing of having 2, 4, 6, 8 beers and driving, alone or with their kids. Fourth of July weekend the hub wanted to go get a 6 pack before he took the kids swimming to drink while they were swimming.
When I tossed a fit he says " Yeah, like a 6 pack will get me so drunk I can't drive them home." There was also one day he let my 14 year drive him and my 10 and 5 year old when he (the hub) was staggering drunk. Then makes me the bad guy for being angry "See kids, I can't do anything right for her.."
Company vehicle, unlicensed 14 year old driving, drunk supervising! Ready to file for divorce over this, I'm so done. But then a judge will just give him visitation where I am not there to stop him ...
He doesn't drink daily and rarely gets "falling down" drunk but often drives what he calls "fine" and I call "no way should he be driving" He's had one DUI, years ago, never seems to get caught. He was " fine " that night too according to him but was over the .10 limit. I wouldn't ever drink one drink and drive a kid, I don't get it.
What your husband is doing is beyond immature and irresponsible. It's bad enough drinking and driving, but to do so with children in the car is simply unforgivable.
You're simply going to have to play hard ball and make it clear to him that if he ever does so again - you'll call the police so that they catch him in the act and arrest him.
And then make it clear what potentially losing his licence would mean and how his employers would feel when they find out, not to mention what would happen if they ever discovered an unlicensed 14 year old was driving his company car.
When logic and reason doesn't work, and you'd think it wouldn't take much of that when it comes to driving under the influence, especially when the lives your own children are at stake - you have to do what you have to do so that your husband learns his lesson the hard way.
And if it means being arrested, put in jail and losing his license is what it takes, then so be it. It's not about being so drunk you can't drive as your husband puts it - it only takes a small quantity of alcohol to effect your ability to respond quickly enough to end up in an accident.
Here's a statistic for your husband - of all fatal road accidents, more than 50% involve alcohol. And you can bet that many of those would have said exactly what your husband has - 'I'm fine to drive.'
Do what you have to do to put a stop to this. There is no other option. Good Luck.