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Had He Been Honest About the ALCOHOL From The First Date ...

by Gina
(saint louis)

I met and fell in love with this great guy that I used to know from school. On our very first date we talked about DEAL BREAKERS, as I told him I was married to a DRUNK and will not have that again in my life. As I didn't mind social occasions, he stated that he rarely ever drank.


With that as my only DEAL BREAKER we started dating and never spent time apart, things were great to say the least, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with this guy. But as time moved on I started realizing something was going on. He was drinking everyday and looked like he was trying to hide it.

Though after spending years of smelling the booze from the ex-husband it wasn't hard to spot. So we had a talk and I asked him why he lied to me as this was the ONE thing that I could not deal with. He answered with I'm sorry you misled me as I didn't know you didn't want someone who NEVER drank.

Well he said he loves to drink but will slow down and that didn't bother him. Well yup for 3 days he didn't drink as far as I could tell and after that he didn't hide it as much and drank everyday. He drinks a 5th a day of something hard.

He does not get mean but for a NON drinker would like to have a talk or be intimate with something other than a DRUNK. Now had he been HONEST from day one we would not be in this situation, now Im forced with this question - do I walk away because from what I can see an alcoholic will not chose love over his bottle and that is VERY sad but I know what his choice will be.

I go to bed every night with this man and listen to him snore and stink up my room with some foul smell booze. The only time I seem to be anything to him is in the morning when he is sober. This is the most lonely life I have ever had.

He doesn't realize or care that this is effecting me and how I feel about him. I think I've decided to walk away because I won't be happy like this and the loneliness is worse then being alone. Maybe he will miss me enough to realize what he is doing to our relationship but I doubt it. Sad stuff ...


If Gina's is a story you resonate with because your story is much the same ... you're looking for answers but nothing you do seems to help ... then Help Me! I'm Love With An Addict: How To Survive A Relationship With An Alcoholic or Drug Addict can finally give you the answers you've been searching for. No more feeling lost in the dark with everything you try ending in pain, disappointment or frustration. Learn from what Gina is going through. The time for change starts now.

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Close to home
by: ALC

While not a deal breaker, my boyfriend lead me to believe that he was a "social" drink like myself- a glass of wine with dinner out, a few beers watching the game, but far from a daily "need". I came to realize that his need was more than my own, but didn't see a problem until he started drinking a pint or more of hard liquor almost daily, in addition to several beers. He wasn't mean or abusive, but I could see an obvious change in him when he "drank". I began to push me away, saying he felt "smothered" or was unable to committ. The truth was he was ashamed of his drinking problem and in the end he would rather be alone with is bottle & shame than be with me. He sent a cowardly text message a few says go, nothing since. I love this man, the man I know to be a good and kind person who gets me in every way. But the self loathing drunk I do not love and hate for causing my heartbreak and taking the man I love away from me.

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RUN RUN
by: Gina

Thanks for your words, they are not harsh as I am very pissed that I was lied to and you are right he is married to the bottle and I deserve better...

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Run Run Fast As You Can
by: Anonymous

I can only say that it you don't like it now it'll probably only get worse. That was totally unfair for him to capture your heart under false pretenses. You were honest and he was not. Life is lonely with an addict. He is numb and void of feelings when he is drunk. He is married to the bottle. You deserve the type of life you wanted (without an alcoholic). You did your time with the first husband. I am sorry if I sound hard but run as fast as you can go.

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