Had Enough: Sick of My Life of Alcoholism

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Had Enough: Sick of My Life of Alcoholism

by Sad :(

I have been drinking alcohol since I was 18 years old. Of course, back then, 2 beers and I was drunk. Now, I drink 1, 2 bottles of wine a night. I try to tell myself not to drink, but then I end up stopping and getting something anyways. If I bought more, I would probably finish that too. I am sick of it and have had enough.

My husband never says anything to me about it, so either he ignores it and is in denial or I don't even know. I regularly black out. Just last night, I don't even remember how I got to bed. Apparently, I passed out on the sofa and my husband brought me to bed.

I don't even know why I drink. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally, great kids. Its pathetic that I have let myself get to this point. On the surface, I keep up a great facade. People I work with have no idea and really, no one knows how bad its gotten except me and my family.

I hide the bottles and throw them in the garbage because even for me its easier to deny that its a problem if I don't actually see the pile of bottles. No one should drink this much. This morning, I swear I was still drunk when I came to work.

I haven't been for a physical in over 4 years and I'm scared to see what damage I have done to myself. I need to stop for my family and for me. I am scared to go to an AA meeting, because I don't want to see anyone I know. I am hoping that I can get counselling. Even now as I am typing this, in the back of my mind I'm making a justification for just having one more drink tonight. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to go home after work and just sleep.

That will help me today, but not forever. I wish I never go this way. I'm scared of what life will be like without drinking. Sounds stupid, but its how I feel. I know I need help from someone to get me through this.

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Had Enough: Sick of My Life of Alcoholism

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Try to skip a day first.
by: doc

When your ready just quit for a day or two. Try a week end when you know it will be low stress.
be prepared to sleep poorly. Have lots of fruit juice and sodas on hand. Fill the fridge with food that tastes bad with wine. Plan something for the evening that makes it hard to drink that is in a new place with people who don't drink.

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DAY BY DAY
by: Anonymous

UP TIL 2 DAYS AGO I TOO WOULD DRINK A BOTTLE OR TOO OF WINE A NIGHT AND SAY TO MYSELF THE NEXT DAY ,I WILL NOT DRINK AND SOON ENOUGH AFTER WORK BE IN LINE BUYING 2 BOTTLES OF WINE ONE TO HIDE AND ONE TO SHARE WITH MY FIANCE, I WOULD GO TO BED WITH MY GLASS AND SIP WHILE WATCHING TV.
I HAVE TO KEEP TELLING MYSELF EVERY HR THAT I CANT JUST HAVE ONE,
BUT I AM TOO FEARFULL OF A LIFE WITHOUT DRINKING, I HAD SWEATED SO MUCH LAST NIGHT I WAS DRENCHED AND TODAY I HAVE A HEADACHE, BUT I AM STILL FEARFULL OF GOING HOME AND POURING A GLASS OF WINE.
I AM TAKING IT DAY BY DAY AND AM STRUGGLING , BUT I WONT GIVE UP
DAY BY DAY ...
GOOD LUCK TO YOU, FIRST STEP IS TELLING YOUR STORY

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lets help each other
by: Anonymous

hi there, i can totaly relate to u, i drink 1- 2 bottles of wine a day and too scared to go aa, shall we help each other out, that would be good, email me susanharris7@hotmail.com , hope tohear from you xx

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So like me
by: Anthony

I can so relate to your "plight"...it so rang the bell with me. I do the same, in that, i hide and dump bottles that i've drunk, in order to hide it from my family. 6 pints of beer used to be my limit, occasionally a few more, but how i would suffer from it. Now 6 pints/bottles of beer doesn't do it...it's not enough. I drink wine/vodka/whisky...all of which i hated to drink before...but now can tolerate, tolerate to the point that i want to drink it...all of them.
Your lucky in that your family/husband seems to recognise you have a problem though they don't seem to be confronting you about it. More so,they seem to be tolerating it, letting you continue as you have been. My family, as far as i know, have no idea as to how far or how bad my drinking is, and, at this point, i don't want them to know. It's all about acceptance and denial...i know where i am....where are you?

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Get Professional Help
by: C-P

You've shown a lot of courage to accept and acknowledge you have a problem. That's usually half the battle won for most alcoholics. The next step for you now is to get proper help. To overcome an addiction requires specialised knowledge and treatment - and the best place to get that would be at a proper addiction treatment facility. Here's a number you can call - (888) 842-3167 - and they can help you find a treatment program taking into account where you live and irrespective of your budget (including low or no cost programs). AA is another excellent place to go - so what if someone recognises you - you'll have recognised them as well. That's why the 'Anonymous' of Alcoholics Anonymous is so integral to everything they do. The main thing now is to do something. It seems scary, but take that first step and you'll realise it actually isn't that bad - there are people out there ready and waiting to help you. You can beat this. It's all about taking baby steps. Don'5 give up. Good Luck and God Bless

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