Drug and Alcohol Addiction Question: How Do I Get My Husband to Admit He Is Still Drinking?

by Karen

Hi again,I am wondering how to get my husband to admit that he is still drinking?? He denies drinking and the last few weeks he has displayed drunken behaviors. Myself and my two older children watched him fall asleep in the pool, three times. The last time he went down under the water face first. When I confronted him the next day, he maintains his innocence and says I am crazy.

Our two older children have told him they also believe he is drinking still and he refuses to admit it. Any advice would be appreciated. He is in complete denial and is trying to say I am neglectful and completely trying to ruin the marriage. I just can't get him to see that he continues to pass out and act mean and inappropriately.

He feels I and the kids are making this up. The husband does see a social worker once in a while but he is not telling her about his behavior and drinking. He is telling her I am making it all up and he is sober. There is no way a sober person falls asleep in the pool at noon, three times. Then sleeps it off in bed for the rest of the afternoon, until the next morning. How do you get them to see they are not fooling anyone????

---

---

Answer

Hi Karen

The truth is you don't. If your husband isn't prepared to admit it, there isn't a heck of a lot you can do.

Your husband is in denial - and unfortunately denial is the biggest obstacle to an alcoholic getting the help they need and turning their life around.

Remember you can't control what he does or the decisions he makes. He chooses to drink, and until he realises it's a problem for him and is prepared to do something about it, your hands are pretty much tied.

The only thing you as a family can consider doing in such a situation is an alcoholism intervention - which can sometimes be an effective tool in helping a loved one break through their denial and get them into treatment.

But there are no guarantees. The only way your husband is ever going to turn his life around is if he wants to. So your focus has to change from your husband and his actions - to your life and what you can do to make yourself happy and live the life you want to.

That may eventually mean re-evaluating your marriage if things don't improve with your husband. Unfortunately there is just no way to make someone 'see' that simply doesn't want to 'see.'

All the Best

+1 Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com