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Do They Ever Stop?

by Lee
(Ma)

To start it all off, I'm a 17 year old girl trying to be normal. I was born on methadone, and that is where it all began. My parents had met through their mutual drug habits, and that doesn't ever lead to anything good, especially not a family.


My half brother who was born 3 months early, and was found to be special needs, and I moved in with my grandparents for our childhood. We were raised by abusive people, emotional, mentally, and physically abusive.

My mom would come around for a week, then relapse and go missing. My dad never stopped. My mother was a beautiful talented woman, although she was never strong enough to give up drugs completely. She passed away in 2009.

When I was 11 in the 6th grade I made a change in to my life. After growing up being abused, my Uncle who moved in took it too far, and choked me. I had bruises on my neck with finger prints, after this they sent me with my dad.

I was so young and naive, I always knew something was up, but never understood. The past few years have been hell. I've discovered my father does drugs, and found out he used to be an alcoholic.

I thought it was weed, then believed for years it was cocaine, now I know it was heroin. He steals money from everyone, gets paid Friday, and it's gone by Saturday. He always tells me he'll change but never does.

I've been working and paying him since I was 14, because I had too. We live with his parents that pay all the bills and the food. He never supported or helped me.

I've almost been kidnapped because he wouldn't give me rides home, I've walked 3 miles because I couldn't get home any other way, he just doesn't care.

The past few weeks I noticed he picked up alcohol again, and I don't get why. I try talking to him and he gets aggressive. He yells and raises his hands. I bring up the fact that I'm a child with one parent and I don't have anyone, and it doesn't bother him.

For the record, I'm 17, taking AP classes in High School. Honors student, Work full time, bought my own car, and pay my own bills.

I don't want to have to do this by myself. I can't leave my keys or money at home without them being taken, and its sad I have to live my life worrying about my dad as if he's my son. He won't change and I don't know what to do. I need help and I need hope.

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Nov 29, 2012
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You can stop it:)
by: Chad H.

First thing you absolutly need to do is start planning a way out of there. Find your own place, or stay with a friend you trust, maybe even rent a room from somebody that does not involve drugs, alcohol, or chaos in their lives. I do feel bad for you and I do wish I could wave a magic wand and take all the chaos away, but you seem like a strong person, and not sure of your age now, but you will be an adult before you know it, then it gets hard all over again, but its a difficulty thats worth it if you do it right. I know exactly the type of person your father is and unfortunatly, it may take something awful to happen for him to change, and that may not even work, and from what you described as your childhood, you DO NOT owe him anything. Love him, care about him, but do from a distance and do it without hurting yourself. I live next door to a die hard alcoholic/drug addict and to me, when someone gets into that blacked out rage drunk, nothing you say or do gets thru to them, so I feel your pain. I recently wrote a post here(hardest years of my life), it may offer some hope. I have more to say, but not sure if you want to here it, if u do, write a comment, and i will talk more to you and see if i can offer any other advice. Best wishes and all my prayers. Chad H.

Sep 02, 2012
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Usually Not
by: Anonymous

As sad and heartbreaking as your story is, there is nothing you can do to help your dad. You've shown amazing strength and courage coping with this all,especially at your age, but you need to focus on your life and get yourself out of there. Finish your studies, get a job and get the heck out of there. You'll never stop loving your dad, but you have to stop trying to save him. And if he doesn't really want to save himself, there is nothing anyone can do to help him and its its time you let go and moved on.

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