2 Days Sober ... and Proud!

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2 Days Sober ... and Proud!

by Deborah
(Chicago)

I quit drinking two days ago. My husband did not come home and find me passed out yesterday or today. In large from reading all of the stories on this site. Making me see it is possible if I made it through 48 hours.

I had this big fundraiser to go to tonight. I was dreading it. Free drinks everywhere you turned. I didn't want anyone looking at me like I was some kinda Alcoholic because I wasn't drinking. But you know what? I am an Alcoholic and I can't stop once I start. I'm tired of the blankness of of my life.

So I told myself not today. I sat at the table with a good friend of mine, who I have swallowed many a glass of wine, and she asked me if I wanted red or white. I said, neither. "Cutting back huh?", And I said, "Yes." And I looked her straight in the eye. I did not look at the floor. I felt ashamed inside, but I tried my damnedest to not let that show. I could see her face dripping with concern. Concern for me.

I didn't-- don't want people to be concerned about me. I can handle myself. Got all defensive, you know. But as I looked closer, it wasn't concern. It was compassion. She loves me. She was proud of me because she has seen me two bottles of red in.

I did not have a sip all night. I am so proud of myself. So proud. So proud that as I was walking home, gleefully, and that little voice popped in my head, like it always does, and said, "You should celebrate with a beer. Just one. Or a bottle of that cheep ass Merlot." I told that voice no. And I walked passed the CVS, I got on the train and I am ready to start day three. One day at a time.

Even as I write these words with confidence and joy, I know that day 365 seems impossible, or day 121, hell-- day 8. But I don't have to worry about those days right now. Thank all of you for your stories. You helped me get through a social situation without the booze.

Thank you so much for listening.

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2 Days Sober ... and Proud!

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Nov 22, 2011
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You got this Shelly!
by: Deb

Seriously just one day at a time. And as far as I am concerned I am on day 2 with you. Go Shelly Go!

Nov 22, 2011
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Day 2!!
by: Shelly

Hi everyone.I love everyone post's.So positive.I am on day 2 and feel real good about this.I have never tried to quit before.I am a beer drinker and can drink anywhere from 8 to 12 points a day without a problem.I need to change this.Im tired of living my life like this.I have been drinking for 11 years straight so enough is enough!!

Oct 26, 2011
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day 136? Awesome!
by: Cathy

Day 200 two months away!
Congrats for taking charge.

Oct 14, 2011
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121
by: Deb

All I have to say is I made it this far! Thank you allllllll for your suppppppppppppppppppport! I am healing.

Sep 09, 2011
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Sue you are an inspiration
by: Deb

Thank you for your support! And you too Cathy! Much love!

Sep 09, 2011
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Great support
by: Sue

Thank you for your words of encouragment Deb,you are an inspiration.

Sep 09, 2011
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awesome
by: Cathy

Hey Deb, just thought I'd say that--Awesome!! For so many things. Day 86??
--Cathy

Sep 02, 2011
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To Sue
by: Deb

Sue,

I know right where you are at. I am on day 79. And I could use a drink. I could. But I say no, today. I have not felt this good since I started down this crazy ass path. To get here, and not that here is any different than day 1, hell minute one, I had to give over my weakness. And when I say give I mean, I gave it to someone/thing else to hold onto. I am not a religious person in the normal since, but I do believe that life is connected together somehow. And I gave my weakness to that connection. The connection with other people. The connection with this blog. I gave it to the people I could trust to hold my weakness so I could just focus on my strength. Sue you can say no today. It does not mean you have to think about day 5, or 12 or 79. Just don't drink today. I am so glad you are strong enough to reach out. I can hold your weakness and I am glad that you are holding mine. You can do it. Just for today.

Sep 01, 2011
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Need support
by: Sue

I am drunk on red wine. Will I visit you tomorrow and carry out my pledge to quit drinking? I really hope so.x

Jul 31, 2011
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Day 51
by: Deb

Last night was day 50 and I got back to my hotel at 1:30AM. Guess what? Day 51 I woke up, not hungover.

This is big. I am out of town on Business and everyone went out to the bars drinking and dancing. It would have been so simple, so easy to drink and tell everyone in Chicago that I didn't. Here no one really knows, so no harm right? Except, I would know. Again, I remind myself, I am the most important person. I am the one person I am not going to lie to again about what 1 drink means.

Plus, in social situations, as we alcoholics and non-alcoholics know, alcohol loosens you up, it allows a person to relax and not be shy.

And I chose to just be shy. Which meant that I talked to everyone because no one was shy.

Big Presentation today will happen on this 51st day of soberness, So, for the first time in a long time, I will not have ibuprofen in my system helping through pain because I have none.

Jul 28, 2011
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quickie mart
by: C

That's a great tale of remembering in the knick of time. You're doing great. You want other things more. Brava! Now that it's 1:41 am, it's Day 45. Good work. I love the life you're creating.

Jul 28, 2011
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Day 44
by: Deb

What a great day! Why is this a great day? Because I got off work. Walked home, and becasue I smoke I like to drink things that burn my throat, IE why I like alcohol, so I stopped by the quickie mart by the el, right. Pop in get a soda. And Something about the quickie marts that are located next to el stops, is they mostly carry alcohol. I know this, everyone knows this, but I wanted a soda. (Carbonation also burns the throat) So I go in and I am literally surrounded with 40's, and kangaroo labeled wine, and Bartles and James, and Jim Beam, and Jack, and Captain, his friend Morgan. The whole nine yards. Brain, being my brain, didn't even remember that I had not been drinking for 44 days. There was no thought process, nothing. I don't know how to describe what I was going through. It was like the last 44 days did not exist. It was as if I had never quit drinking. This took about a second before reality hit. There is no way in the world I would trade my past month and half of goodness for anything in that store. So I grabbed my soda and checked out. It was not even a hard decision. You really can F#@K up your life in a second. I made it through today. Thank god! Day 45 let's do it!

Jul 22, 2011
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I love Kyle
by: Deb

C,

Thanks so much for the support. With out you, I feel shame could be a difficult milestone to overcome. But knowing that I can turn to you a loving friend who listens has made each day easier. Hugs!

Jul 22, 2011
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40 days!?!
by: C

40 days (if I'm counting right)- A huge milestone, Deborah, as is each day. Proud of you, happy for you. I see the effect and it's great. But what matters is what YOU say and you say you like it better this way. As Kyle says, "This is what I'm doing right now." It seems to be working for you. Conscious living. The good, the bad, and the awesome. Wonderful to know ya!

Jul 17, 2011
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Important Milestone
by: C-P

Congrats on the 30 day milestone! Sounds like you're flying. You're doing fantastically well! Remember though it's okay to have a bad day - and they will happen. So long as you don't pick up that drink and remain sober the day will be a success, no matter what else happened. It's called the 'pink-cloud' effect and sometimes people are doing so well, when they have a bad day, they can't deal with it and end up picking up because they wonder what went 'wrong' and were too hard on themselves. So remain vigilant and keep doing what you're doing, because it's obviously working. Thanks for the update.

Jul 16, 2011
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I'm glad you are not listening to the little voice
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the words of encouragement! It's like I'm in a good mood all day and not just waiting or arranging for when I can have some wine. All day and all night are fun. I'm sleeping like a rock and little things don't irritate me like they did before.

I like how you said how the little voice said, "reward yourself, just one..." That's the voice who is not your friend. I hear it too and it feels good to ignore it and find other things to do.

Congratulations! Keep it up!

Jul 16, 2011
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So proud of you Dana
by: Deborah

Dana,

I am so glad that you have made it to day 3. So proud of you. Remember you just have to take it 1 day at a time. One day is all you have to do. keep it up and thank you so much for your encouragement. It means so much to me.

Jul 15, 2011
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Great Job!
by: Dana

When I read your posts you sound so much like me. I quit three days ago. Wine is my drink of choice and I wrote this to put my relationship with it in perspective. Keep it up!

Jul 13, 2011
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30 days today
by: Deborah

Hey all! I have made it to day thirty and wouldn't trade my progress for one sip!

I have to say last week there was one really bad day. I had just moved and the previous tenet had left two beers in the fridge. Normally I know when I am going to encounter alcohol so I can give prepare myself to say no.

But these were just sitting there. I didn't really have a problem with them until last wednesday. I had a really stressful day, so I opened the fridge and thought, nobody would know. I guess in a since I was calling my self nobody. Because I would have been the nobody that knew. I am not nobody. I am the most important person I know and trust and believe in. My sobriety isn't for anyone but myself. so I did not drink and now I am on day 30.

Yay!

Jul 01, 2011
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Fantastic!
by: C-P

Keep going Deborah you're doing great! Very proud of you. And keep us updated. As long as you take it one day at a time, remain vigilant, and believe in yourself - anything is possible. Here's to 16 days becoming 16 weeks and many years of sobriety. But don't think long-term too much. As long as you get through today sober is all that matters. Well done.

Jun 30, 2011
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16 days
by: Anonymous

I have made it to day sixteen, the day is not over yet but I teach late and so I am posting this now. I have made it through several dinners, a dance party, and a pool party without alcohol. It is so liberating.

I wasn't going to write until day 121 but a friend of mine who I had come visit the site, texted me and wanted to make sure that I was okay because I hadn't updated in a while. So for those of you out there who have been believing in me I am still sober. I am so thankful that I have this friend to lean on. And I am so glad to have this site help me get through each day, one day at a time.

I feel great and also have been sad, and have not picked up the bottle once to deal with stress or sadness or the happiness of life.

Forward I go!

Deborah

Jun 23, 2011
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Day 8
by: Deborah

I made it to day 8. One day at a time. Thank you so much for this site. It is so comforting to know I am not alone.

Jun 17, 2011
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Congratulations
by: C-P

Great story and thanks for sharing. Posts like these are what make me so proud to be part of this site. Just keep at it. One day at a time. Eventually the awkwardness and difficult positions you sometimes find yourself in will pass - because you'll be totally comfortable and confident with who you are. But all in good time. Be patient. There will be good days and bad. But so long as you don't pick up, you know the day has been a success. Well done!

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