19 Year Old Step-Son Seems To Have A Drug Problem

by Jenna
(IL)

My 19 yr old stepson thinks its ok to do drugs once in awhile. I have found pipes and empty beer cans in his room. When confronted, he doesn't understand why its a problem. His dad and grandparents really don't seen to help, I don't think they want to believe there is a problem, but almost a year ago he admitted to doing prescription drugs and cocaine.

Supposedly he was going to stop ... I knew he wouldn't which is why I search his room nearly everyday. The thing is, I think I might have to leave because I have a young child and I am not comfortable with him being under the same roof with him.

My husband and I were married almost a year ago and he is my world but I have to think of my child. Any ideas? This boy grew up without a mother because she was too messed up with drugs and alcohol so the dad and grandparents have spoiled him rotten.

The kid has no respect for anything, he doesn't appreciate anything and knows no right so nothing for himself! Can anyone help?!

Alcoholism-and-Drug-Addiction-Help.com Answer

Hi Jenna, this is a fight you aren't going to win unless you get your husband onboard and he takes on the responsibility of trying to address your step-son's drug problem.

And the only way to do that is be totally honest with your husband about how you feel, and that he stands to lose you if he doesn't intervene. Because you're absolutely right in wanting to protect your own child from what's going on with your step-son, so hopefully your husband can understand that.

It's your husband's role to take on that of disciplinarian and confidant with your step-son, because typically if you try take that on, you're going to be painted as the 'evil step-mom.' So if your husbands understands how strongly you feel about the situation and that he may lose you, he may become a little more motivated to intervene.

Look, being 19 today isn't easy. It's a tough world out there. That doesn't excuse your step-son's drug use/behavior, but it makes parenting that more difficult, because one has to strike the right balance of being parent/friend/disciplinarian/confidant etc. But the principles of boundaries and accountability always hold true - and those are values that need to be installed in your step-son.

Unless he learns poor choices lead to undesirable consequences, how is he ever going to learn to make healthier choices with his life? So hopefully you can get your husband on the same page, and he can start working on installing those values into your step-son. And if he doesn't, you have to make a call on what's going to be best for you and your child in the long run.

Best of Luck

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